He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
