Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
