How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
