Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
