And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
