3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sext me about skeletons
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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