Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just found a bag of teeth...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
