By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
