It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
