I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
