Please, let me fuck your mom
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
