I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
