So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
