Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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