My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
