I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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