I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
