Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
