I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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