I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
