Kareoke will never be a sober sport
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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