i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
