One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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