i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
