I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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