I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
