exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
