I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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