Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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You. Win. At. Life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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