HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
