My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
