don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
