I like to think it a success when the cops are called
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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