YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
