Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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