Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
