An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
