we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sext me about skeletons
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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