if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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