Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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