Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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