I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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