i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
