There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
