Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He shit in the fireplace
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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