Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
