ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
