it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
