i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
