and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
